Saturday, September 22, 2012

Life moves on

'Life moves on' I have heard these lines a 1000 times earlier in my life but now I truly understand what it means. I used to think that there are few people in my life without whom I would die. I was so scared that I even cried once or twice just thinking about that. But God I think has a problem with me, he makes me do everything from which I am scared of. And yes then came a day finally when one of my most favorite person decides to leave me. God I will never forgive you for this but yes I am surviving. It totally shattered my faith in people around me, I am scared to love again, I am scared to trust people again but yes I am surviving. I read the lines somewhere - Sometimes the person who can comfort you the most is the same person who made you suffer. So true. I cried my heart out for about 2 months but who was affected; nobody but me (again). 
            Suddenly one day, I got 3 phone calls from 3 different friends, to whom I have not talked to in months, they were worried that am I alright. I didn't tell them anything (I am the kind of person who takes a longgggggggg time to open upto anyone) but those phone calls gave me back the hope to live again, hope to meet someone good once again in life. I finally decided to forgive that person and myself for everything that ever happened and for everything that led us apart.But I am still angry with you God and I am not going to forgive you that easily. 
           Life truly moves on. It doesn't give you the options, just plays its part and leaves upto you that how fast you can accept the good and bad that has happened. I don't like it though but what option do I have. 
          I have somewhat accepted this as my destiny in last 2 months. I try my best to keep myself busy. I engage myself in some lost aspects of my life and in few things which I loved doing. I hang out with my friends and truly speaking I am getting better and better everyday though, I still miss that person and even cry at times. These days I am trying to forget everything negative that happened in my life and retain all the positives, I even try to find happiness in small things everyday. For example when a friend complimented me for my dressing sense a few days back, or when I talked to an offshore team member on phone and she said she loved my pics and wants to come to India, or when a butterfly came and sat on my lap a few days back and how can I forget when my cab driver complimented me that I am a good person by heart. These thing might not reduce the trauma that I suffered but make me feel special somehow. 
                                                 

4 comments:

  1. Nice that you updated your blog! :)

    Life moves on! I have also heard this infinite number of times, and now truely believe in it. Time does not stop for anyone, whatever you feel , or whatever has happened. It keeps on moving...and as expected everyone also. If you want to be a part of this world then you have to move on...else no one will ever bother about you!

    I have always lived life in small things, some how big things do not impress me much! I do not know who has said this, "Best things come in small packets", but is quite apt! If you start enjoying small things, you can find happiness within yourself, and then you do not need anyone to be happy! :)

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  2. I totally forgot the link to your blog after you stopped updating, and today.. zap it was back in my head and i am back to trouble you again.

    Everyone has experiences.. some good.. some bad.. you always learn a few things along the way. No point in having grudges, even towards God. It's easy to blame him for our decisions. Just smile now. Things will be better. I perhaps understand your situation pretty well, but the usual words, that things will be better wont suffice. Perhaps we will have a more direct conversation someday.

    All the best

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  3. Nice to hear from you again

    Hows life?
    and thanks for the great comments as usual

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Thanks for your time and comments.