Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Me my and mine

I am interesting and confident
I am friendly and sweet
I am intelligent and supportive
Yet I am not satisfied with myself

Is it something I did wrong
Or is it something I forgot 
Or was is it something God did wrong
But its something that makes me conscious all time.

May be I am not a dream girl
May be I am not fair skinned
May be I don't have the perfect figure
But I am the best what God could have made of me

Why should I change myself then
Why should I try to be like others then
Why should I torture myself then
I am my own unique masterpiece

Accept me or not
Be with me or not
Love me or not
Who cares! I don't need your approval.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Pace of time

I had my full year wasted after graduation. Did nothing except for crying and yelling at my destiny. No I was not ill or anything I was just too broken as I didn't had the job, people may call it due to recession I call it because of my destiny that says I have to fight for everything which i really want. But truly speaking after a year I have started to accept it and I am ready for the next war which has already started. Any ways going back a year I was in heart broken and I had my reasons for it. I was one of the very good students of my college , teachers admired me, I got good grades, earned scholarships and I think many of my classmates used to envy me and everybody including me thought that I will surely get a good job by the end of the Campus placement. But i didn't. All my friends , classmates started working , earning money and I was merely sitting at home , running around from 1 city to another for interviews , written exams. It was the worst time I ever faced till now.

There was only a single relief in this dark night that I had my parents and my best friend with me , always ready to bear my frustration. They gave me encouragement every time I failed, run miles to fulfill my each requirement, gave me a shoulder when ever I needed to cry. I remember once when I almost cried the whole day my father came to my side and said 'You are diamond my dear and no matter for how long you are ignored you will remain a diamond'. It was so unexpected, he has never shown such confidence in me before. I knew at that moment that how proud he was of me. Finally after months and months of struggle I got a job. I can never forget that day 1st of January 2010 I was so nervous before checking the result as i didn't wanted to ruin the very first day of a New Year. But i think I made it even better I was through. I remember touching my mother's feet after i woke up on 1st Jan and she said ' I am truly confident that this year will not be the last year you had so stop worrying now'. And yes she said it true. My best friend I think he became the happiest person on the world that day after hearing the news literally danced and screamed with joy. The first thing he said' See I always told you, you are the most intelligent girl I have ever seen'. It seemed from his voice that he has accomplished something far greater than what I had got that day.

This whole year taught me many lessons to be remembered through out my life but 3 very important things:
1. You always need your family no matter what you become.
2. Its only in hard time that you know who really matters to you and to whom you really matters. And its only time when you know what people belong to your future.
3. Time travels at its own pace , even if its the happiest of time or the saddest. If you want bad time to pass away quickly and happy times to stay forever its not going to happen.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Different world

I was returning from my grandparents home and standing on the platform, then among many passengers I was observing a cute little kid. I think he was about 4-5 years old standing with his parents and 2 sisters. It seemed like a very normal Indian family. Fortunately we shared the seats in one compartment. The kid came near me and  smiled very cutely at me and directed me to move away from the window as he wanted to sit there and I did as he wished. He started showing me things outside the window and i was quite happy that journey will not be boring now as I now had the company of the kid. I tried talking to him then and it was that moment i noticed something very unusual about that kid and that made my heart ache with pain. The kid could not speak and hear. He was dumb and deaf. Oh my god! I wanted to ask God at that moment why he did this to such a small child. How miserable his life would become. What about his parents? The family I thought earlier as a normal family no longer seemed like that to me now. I could clearly see the lines of worry and fear on parents forehead, tears ready to come out from the side of their eyes when ever their child was asking for something stupid in his half learned sign language, sisters taking extra care of their brother, smiling even when he was beating him. I felt so sorry for the parents but i knew i couldn't do anything for them. During the whole journey the child in his full innocence and charm kept leaping over the whole apartment totally unaware of his life to come in future. At one moment he tried to say something in his sister's ear. I felt like i will cry at that moment. I remembered the few lines of a Metallica song at that moment and that fitted what I would have said to that kid-

openquote Son, your life's an open book
don't close it before it's done closequote

May God bless him and make his life easier. Amen.