Friday, December 28, 2012

Old things but with a new perspective - 2

Feeling super bored at home, I decide to take a little walk and noticed a lady with a child in her arms. As I got closer to them, I heard the lady teaching Humpty Dumpty. All the childhood memories came rushing back to me just then. It was refreshing moment that lifted my mood. Childhood was so easy. Unlike adulthood, being happy used to be an effortless thing then. I realized that this should not be that difficult  again so why not give it a try. And here I am, trying to be happy and lovable. 

Old things but with a new perspective - 1

Returning back from office after a long and tiring day, sitting in office cab, watching moon in one of the cold Delhi winter night, I realized that just like this beautiful moon, nothing is stationary in this world. Nothing at all is going to stay forever. So why worry about what has passed away, why worry about people who left. I forgive you sweetie. I forgive you but before leaving can you please just let me know whether you are leaving  me for my sun or my night. 

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger

I can't resist sharing such awesome lyrics on the blog. Really really loved the song. The song is so inspirational.

You know the bed feels warmer

Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in colour
And do the things I want

You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

You heard that I was starting over with someone new
They told you I was moving on over you

You didn't think that I'd come back
I'd come back swinging
You tried to break me, but you see

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking bout me
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning
In the end...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Monday, October 8, 2012

Love yourself and the world will love you

Watched the movie English Vinglish today. Awesome movie. New concept and beautiful Sridevi make this movie worth watching. One great thing I learnt from the movie is - Until you start loving yourself or until you feel good about yourself nobody will value you, not even your partners. 

There are times in our lives when we depend too much on that one person for all our happiness and ignore all other things around us. What we get in return is not the happiness but betrayal and sadness. The bitter truth about life is people you love the most can hurt you the most, sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly. So its always better to love yourself first and be happy. As Albert Einstien said - If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.

I have honestly decided to follow this because I have already started seeing the results from this theory since last few months. I have started to feel great about myself, people have started valuing me and believe it or not, a happy person is like a magnet, people want to talk to him/her and be friends with him/her. 

Between I loved that French guy in English Vinglish (Mehdi Nebbou) He is such a smarty :)

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Priorities of life

Born on one fine Wednesday evening the first and the foremost priority in my life was to get food. Then started the chain of changing priorities in life. Then the next priority in my life was to get mother's attention. Then my sister was born after few years. I used to love taking care of her and used to show her around to my friends carrying her in my arms but I used to hate her when my mom used to shout at me as I might drop and hurt her. I adjusted myself to the fact after a while that now there is one more person in my mother's life and I might not get her 100% attention.

Midst of all these I was sent to school and I could not understand why my parents are leaving me between all these strange kids, wasn't one enough at home! But slowly I got adjusted and I actually started to like a few kids. As a kid I used to love coming to school as I was sharp in studies and teachers used to love me. At this stage of life my priority was to enjoy, play and not get scolded.

Slowly life moved on again and I joined a coaching institute, priorities changed suddenly. Now the main priority in my life to study, study and clear JEE. I did and was sent to college. At college I had to make friends again and the priorities for sometime got focused on becoming popular and getting recognition in the small world called college. I actually had a lot of fun at college and did everything that I desired for. Excelled in studies, got great placements, joined the sports team, fell in love and what not.

Finally joined the corporate sector now and the priority is mere to survive in this world all alone and to be happy, which I think is becoming next to impossible.

I don't know when will this end. I just don't want to have any more priorities in life. I want to live everyday life as it comes - new, refreshing and unknown everyday. Is it at all possible. No I don't think so. To meet the basic expectation that people around you have from me and to keep them happy, I have to prioritize each and every second of my life.

And truly speaking I hate it!

Sunday, September 30, 2012

तेरे जाते ही

तेरे जाते ही जैसे छीन गयी इस चेहरे की सारी ख़ुशी
याद करके उन बीते पालो को
रो लेती हूँ कभी या जी लेती हूँ कभी
सोचती हूँ की क्या करूँ ऐसा
की मिल जाये तू वापिस पहले जैसा
फिर लगता है मुमकिन नहीं शायद अब ये
हो चुका है जो होना था
जा चुका है तू वहां जहाँ ना जाना मुझे आना था
राहें अलग हुई तो क्या
दिल तो सदा एक हैं
तब भी थे और अभी भी हैं
                   - अंकिता

Monday, September 24, 2012

That one person

A life should have

Few people to enjoy the special moments
But one person to make that moment unforgettable

Few people to influence the life's journey
But one person to turn it around

Few people to be taken care of
But one person to be possessive about

Few people to be taken for granted
But one special who is always there for sure

Few people to share your sorrows
But one person to understand them

Few people to fight with
But one person to understand that anger

Few people who depends on us
But one person who can't survive without us

Few people to live life
But one person to die for

Hope to find that 'one person' soon.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Life moves on

'Life moves on' I have heard these lines a 1000 times earlier in my life but now I truly understand what it means. I used to think that there are few people in my life without whom I would die. I was so scared that I even cried once or twice just thinking about that. But God I think has a problem with me, he makes me do everything from which I am scared of. And yes then came a day finally when one of my most favorite person decides to leave me. God I will never forgive you for this but yes I am surviving. It totally shattered my faith in people around me, I am scared to love again, I am scared to trust people again but yes I am surviving. I read the lines somewhere - Sometimes the person who can comfort you the most is the same person who made you suffer. So true. I cried my heart out for about 2 months but who was affected; nobody but me (again). 
            Suddenly one day, I got 3 phone calls from 3 different friends, to whom I have not talked to in months, they were worried that am I alright. I didn't tell them anything (I am the kind of person who takes a longgggggggg time to open upto anyone) but those phone calls gave me back the hope to live again, hope to meet someone good once again in life. I finally decided to forgive that person and myself for everything that ever happened and for everything that led us apart.But I am still angry with you God and I am not going to forgive you that easily. 
           Life truly moves on. It doesn't give you the options, just plays its part and leaves upto you that how fast you can accept the good and bad that has happened. I don't like it though but what option do I have. 
          I have somewhat accepted this as my destiny in last 2 months. I try my best to keep myself busy. I engage myself in some lost aspects of my life and in few things which I loved doing. I hang out with my friends and truly speaking I am getting better and better everyday though, I still miss that person and even cry at times. These days I am trying to forget everything negative that happened in my life and retain all the positives, I even try to find happiness in small things everyday. For example when a friend complimented me for my dressing sense a few days back, or when I talked to an offshore team member on phone and she said she loved my pics and wants to come to India, or when a butterfly came and sat on my lap a few days back and how can I forget when my cab driver complimented me that I am a good person by heart. These thing might not reduce the trauma that I suffered but make me feel special somehow. 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Heart felt happiness

Have you ever felt happy, really happy when someone else achieved something. I did today. A very close friend of mine got through IIMs. It was one of those times that you truly start to believe in lines " Bhagwan jo karta hai ache k liye karta hai". I have seen this friend struggling alone through some really hard times without loosing  faith in god ever and now was his day when he could proudly claim these lines 'Meine kaha tha na mera bhagwan sab sahi karega".
Hats off to you buddy, you proved all of us wrong.
May all of us get through the difficulties of life in the same way as you did. You proved us wrong, you proved that god is like a mother who has to be harsh sometimes with her kids to teach them a lesson.
May god bless all of us.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Happiness.. that is lost somewhere

I can't even remember the last time I was truly happy, that's what I feel when I see other people fun pics on Facebook. Its been long when I let myself free or did something really crazy. I have forgotten how an adrenalin rush feels inside the body. I am bored of living this routine and non-fun life. Its just 5 days of office spent in front of the laptop waiting for the weekend to come and weekends spent doing non-sense shopping or sleeping around. All this might have given me the momentary happiness but nothing that could flush my face red or made my heart beat in happiness at least for a week.
Everyone in life has changed with time. Every relation seems so selfish. Although I meet a lot of people laugh and hang around with them but some where inside I know that if I disappear for sometime everyone of them will stop caring after some time.
Sometimes I think of leaving on a long voyage alone, with no mobile phones and no worries, a long voyage that will help me discover me, discover what is important in life and what is not; what I love and what not and may be I can also know what is true happiness and what I am living right now.