Once again a new place and a new city

I have entered a new phase of my life. New city, atmosphere, new emotions and a new work place. I have reached a phase where some old things will slip out and some new things will enter. I cam here with many new hopes for my future. Some of them got true the moment I came here, some are yet to be fulfilled and some might fail too. But due to uncertainty of loosing your past or some dreams remaining un-achieved we never stop expecting or dreaming. We keep on taking risks and that is more important I think.

No matter how many times you get hurt or how many times you fail never stop believing or trying. No matter how many time you get betrayed or how many times you are let down never stop loving or hoping.

But along with it always know where to stop and when to let go because sometime it takes more guts to let go of a thing than holding it forever and going on hoping that some day it will bet alright.

Weird state of mind

Totally puzzled and feared... I don't know why and what is happening with me right now. But my mind is very confused as to what to take along and what to leave behind. I am a very possessive and clingy type of person. I get attached to everything I think is mine, my heart breaks in leaving them behind even if it means my old clothes or an old pen. But this time its not about a pen its about something I thought would stay with me forever. But some how it is slipping out of my hand the harder I am trying to hold it. I don't know whether it was my fault or the destiny. May be I didn't played my part right or may be I was putting to much pressure on to it because of the fear of loosing it. I am afraid. How am I going to ever fill the void that will be created. 

May be I should try again.  A last try with the spirit of little less to ask and much more to give. Still I fear, a lot but somethings are worth taking a risk so that future can be lived without regrets.

Time to change

After a full hard year of struggling through the job and loneliness in the city I could find another job. A multinational consultancy. I am happy very happy but i cant understand the reason why am I having this anxiety about leaving the previous one. I was not even attached to anyone here except for 1 family, my neighbors. They are nice people. I didn't like the office, I didn't like the city but somehow I am feeling attached to all this. I want to leave all this but also want to take a part of this along with me.
Yesterday morning when a left to meet my boss with Resignation letter in my hand, I didn't expected any sort of resistance from his side but it really touched me when he tried to persuade me for not leaving the job, what all plans he had in mind for my future with this company. I actually felt my worth here for the first time.
May be that's the reason of my anxiety.Anyways life has moved on and given me a great opportunity to prove my worth at some place, a place which I always dream of. I hope I get things what I want.

All the best to me :)

Sick n alone

I missed you mom. Yesterday night I was all alone in the house and in the city, and my head and body was paining so badly, I think I had fever around 103 Fahrenheit. I missed you much and was thinking about the times when you used to wake up whole night checking my fever by touching my forehead with your palms, used to be awake just to check that if I am sleeping properly. Mom there was no one yesterday and I could not sleep. I had to wake up on my own and take a pain killer. I knew the only thing that could comfort me was your voice and you picked up my phone at 4 in the morning like you knew I would call. Its difficult being alone but knowing that you will be there always makes it a lil easy.
I love you mom.

'' mein kabhi batlata nai....
par andhere se darta hum mein maa
yun to mein dikhlata nai....
teri parwah karta hum mein maa
tujhe sab hai pta hai na maa
tujhe sab hai pta meri maa''

Power of relation

I read these amazing and true lines in news paper today and couldn't stop myself from sharing on my blog.

' Consider the power of weakness! Even the power of a relationship it is rightly said. lies with the one who cares less .. never with the one who cares more and so has more at stake! So the weaker your love, the more powerful you are to mould or manoeuvre the relationship and your partner as and how you wish to! And yet , what a miserable power when the partner's weakest link, his/her strong love for you, would be the biggest weapon you would use against them!
Its is indeed our moments of weakness and weak points that we need to guard.. it's when you are most comfortable that you should be more guarded too. '